5 Things We Learned From The Brits 2019

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By Jack


The Brit Awards 2019 were completely *admonishing comment here* because they failed to properly champion *random social cause here* which bothered me as a *unrelated personal circumstance here*. <

A lot of things happened last night, some of which we cared about. We’ve compiled those things below for you.

Oh we weren’t there by the way! Sorry, misleading headline.

I was washing my hair that night.

5. Pink must have a new album on the way

Viewers holding out till the finale got to enjoy having the music of famed American singer Pink aggressively sold to them. That was not so much down to the performance itself, which was robust and energetic, as much as the soft-soaping of the interlude VT.

I think everyone under the age of 60 knows who Pink is by this stage, but Brits planners weren’t taking chances, and fawningly mapped out every thing she’s ever done in her entire life. It was fairly bilious all told.

Pink has a lot of good songs but she decided not to play any of them for some reason. ‘Funhouse’? ‘Get the Party Started’? Give me those over five versions of the same #empowerment ballad she’s been writing since 2010.

New album Hurts 2B Human out April 2019!

4. The 1975 are getting their dues

You hate The 1975? I get it. Honestly I do.

But name me a band with their size, scope and timeliness on the scene at this moment.

A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships distilled perfectly the anxieties of being a young person in the year 2018, and had some great hooks to boot. They performed ‘Sincerity is Scary’ on the night, complete with travelator.

Sure I think a full-bore version of ‘Love It If We Made It’ would have courted the zeitgeist a little better, and heralded the end of EU membership with more aplomb, but with two Brits in the bag the boys won’t mind.

Read our live review of The 1975’s arena tour here.

3. Tom Walker won Breakthrough Artist and is a very nice man

Nothing else to say really – Congrats Tom!

You’re probably out of our league now but good luck and all that.

Read our interview with Tom Walker here.

2. Calvin Harris deserves it all

Considering how entirely useless and dreadful the output of Calvin Harris has been, his up-tick in recent years has been invigorating.

He performed three songs on the night, or rather shepherded three singers from the safety of a prop mixing desk. Sure the Rag’N’Bone Man collab was a snoozer, but ‘Promises’ and ‘One Kiss’ are two of the best pop tunes of last year. And to hear the guy talk he seems like such a Dude.

Power to you Cal.

Read our review of ‘Promises’ and the best songs from 2018 here.

1. Jess Glynne, of all people, gave the best performance

How is it that Radio 2 stalwart Jess Glynne was able to give the most politically charged and socially concious performance of the night? The song itself (‘Thursday’) is just fine and it’s the kind of song I’ve heard countless times without taking it in at all, each listen pinballing off of me like a spitball blown through a straw.

Yet the staging wherein Glynne and a crowd of women (including her Mam) gradually removed all their makeup, foundation and lashes through the course of the performance, was simple and powerful. Without preachiness she was able to communicate a simple idea – that women are naturally beautiful. I’ll take it.

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