Craig David & Bastille’s ‘I Know You’ is a baffling face plant

00487bef8c6490e411adea995f6b39b9-640x640x11

By Jack

‘I Know You’ has been batting about the charts since November last year, but only this week did it breach the Top 10. Late to the party are we, but really can you blame us? When the party is this crap a little lateness can be understandable.

This is the latest hit single from newly ascendant Craig David, who vanished for a decade because of this skit. The problem is he’s making the same jungle shit he used to make in the early 2000s. Did the past ten years only happen to other people?

It was bad back then but it sounds positively mouldy now. And ‘I Know You’, this truly befuddling collab with Bastille, is the worst thing I’ve heard since last week.

I’m a big believer in realising a creative vision. That’s a twatty way of saying: decide what the song is going to be before you make it. ‘I Know You’ is a dance(?) song but you can’t dance to it, and you certainly won’t be listening to soak in the rich & detailed songwriting because there isn’t any.

So Craig David wrote some random verses via the Notes app on his phone, and then Dan from Bastille came in and wrote a pre-chorus. Then they dropped them into some editing software and divined a flat, repetitive beat from beatsuite.com.

Then they realised neither had written a chorus – and decided it would be fine. You can hear where the chorus is supposed to be as it’s the sizeable chunk of this performance where precisely nothing is happening.

If you are calling up fucking Bastille of all bands for creative inspiration, you really are in a spot. I can’t think of any other band besides Imagine Dragons who write such portentous, blaring, ‘epic’ pop tunes with no discernible grist whatsoever.

I’m really just scratching the surface here. What is this song supposed to be about? If it’s meaningless fine, but you better have a shit-hot track to carry it. ‘I Know You’ is certainly not that.

I’m the real muggins here though, I even watched the video to try and glean some insight. It’s just Dan from Bastille and Craig David playing pool! It’s bad enough watching these people performing the job they’re paid for, let alone just fucking about!

Lacking any sort of cohesion, thought or even pure pop enjoyment, ‘I Know You’ from reheated vocal distortion, faux-grime production and Dan from Bastille’s bizarre hippie-love lyrics is a fumbled misfire.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s