Remember when Frank Turner outed himself as a dreadful right-wing buffoon before desperately trying to undo all of his awful quotes (a personal favourite being “I think socialism’s retarded”) by insisting he wasn’t a Tory? Well even if he isn’t a Tory (he is), he’s certainly a little twerp, as one Labour MP quite nicely put it.
But as well as awful opinions, Frank Turner also makes awful, awful music. But perhaps he’s never released anything quite so awful as new single ‘There She Is’.
Frank Turner seems to exist solely to provide an answer to the question ‘Is there anything whiter than Mumford and Sons?’ A pointless windbag of hamfisted soft rock and the epitome of mediocre white maleness, he’s about as bland and boring as they come. But even he’s outdone himself on the truly abysmal ‘There She Is’, a real stinker of epic proportions.
Of the limited praise that can be afforded to Turner’s back catalogue, he has, on a few occasions, proved himself capable of writing a catchy tune. But on ‘There She Is’, he bins the thunking, knuckleheaded rock melodies in favour of a stripped back arrangement that is as tuneless as it is dull. Seriously, there is basically no tune here. All we get is whiny vocals mewing over a few guitar chords, spewing repetitive cliches on a track that is embarrassingly sugary even for a hack like Turner.
‘There She Is’ is almost impressive in its dreadfulness. One can only imagine the effort it takes to craft a song as limp, earnest and uninspired as this. Thankfully, there will be no more new material for a while, as ‘There She Is’ is the only new composition taken from Turner’s upcoming Songbook, a collection of rerecorded old tracks. So every cloud, I guess.